For the last two months at my new school, I have been devoting so much of my time and energy planning and preparing that I haven't really been enjoying the actual teaching. This past weekend was the first weekend where I hadn't felt pressure to do something - I could just be. Sure, there was marking to be done and rubrics to be made, but I no longer felt the urgency of it all. I simply existed. I was just another presence in the universe with no agenda or ulterior motive. It sure felt great. I had a life again, and it was mine. For the first time in a what feels like a VERY long time, I did not put my students first. That much needed mental break was just what I needed to be able to step back and appreciate all the good things that had been going on in my classroom that I subconsciously chose to ignore. It's ironic really, that choosing to be a good, well-organized, and prepared teacher for me meant being less emotionally available to my students. An odd realization to have, but a necessary one. Teaching is very much a collection of moments, and if I'm not careful they quickly slip away and are lost to the busy hum of school life. Yet, it is precisely those little moments that make teaching so extraordinarily wonderful. You never know when it'll happen, but when it does, it is magical. Today, a student of mine, one who is not particularly keen or motivated in school, who frequently falls asleep in class, and is usually late, RUNS into my class at lunch time and excitedly yells, "MS. SOO I'M HERE! CAN I LOOK AT THOSE FLOWER PARTS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE?" Me on the outside: "Why, yes good sir, you may examine those flower parts under the microscope." Internally: "OMG, YAAAAS!!!"
Music to my ears.
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April SooInternational math educator who writes, occasionally. Archives
April 2020
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